The Tain

A canner, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny:
"A canner can can
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"

A traveler once to his sorrow
Requested a ticket to Morrow.
Said the railman, "It's plain
That there isn't a train
To Morrow today, but tomorrow."

There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't - he died in the fall.

There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in ...
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

There once was a person from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"

Here is one that I just can't post. So download the .zip and read it if you want.

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
proves all mass increases with speed.
My ass grows when I sit it.
Albert Einstein, get with it;
equate its deflation, I plead!

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but she was really a man
so she missed the damn can
and her john fled the joint, crying, "F^%$ it!"

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

I once knew a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two

Don't you fall into the trap, the organized events are full of crap.

That looks like a picture depicting something in America, not Britain , and that trollish kid on the left has a look like he is enjoying some sort of porn alternative.

I have finals week coming up, so I probably won't be quick to respond. But thanks to anyone who replies.

In the ARM plug I made, (Alric Returns Modification), for some players the sound tags I added have a slow playback, so it sounds like someone has a record and is playing it at too low an RPM. It doesn't do this for me interestingly, but I gained access to another comp and it did do it on that comp w...

Thanks for the incredibly speedy assistance with the first upload. I see that people are downloading RC1. Could this get approved so there is a minimized download of the RC?