Fetchball:
(2009)
Posted this year. I'm only including it because it seemed to be a pretty good representation of fetchball, especially to those that had never played it.
Fetchball Semifinals: An Insider's Look
Scorched Cleaverâ„¢ has reached the final four!
Now I know you are all are thinking "Scorched wha-? I've never heard of that tournament!! OMGZZ IM MISSING OUT ON THE... oh wait it's fetchball."
Yes, Fetchballâ„¢, one of the most obscure and most difficult Myth conversions ever made.
So obscure that the number of competitive players can be counted on one hand.
So difficult that last year it took
two days to decide an all-out war between Dantski and Ska for the cup (the match ended in ska's favor, 3-1-2). (
films)
Anyway, this year we have an exciting competition for the finals shaping up. Here is a look at the remaining players' favored strategies:
Dantski (2) vs. Bone (3)
Dantski - 3:3:3:1
Dantski is by far the most prolific scorer in the league. In last year's finals, he even outscored ska in the aggregate despite losing in games. Dangerous, dangerous player.
Strengths: Dantski's formation is about as evenly-spaced as you can get. It reflects a full confidence in his ability to dominate possession with just a single fetch, thus he benefits from having a fetch as close as possible to any position on the field.
Note the deadly midfield cb (ghol+fetch) pairs. Not only can he score from that range, but he can still pass to ghols on the wing, or to a very dangerous center formation.
A Fetch/Ghol CB
Weaknesses: If the Ronaldinho of Fetchballâ„¢ can be said to have a weakness, it would have to be on defense. There is little (but precious) space on the wings from which one has a decent window on the goal.
However, finding a way to beat Dantski is a little akin to finding a way for US to beat Brazil. You need to make the most of your opportunities, and then don't fuck it all up.
Bone - 2:4:3:1
A champion long past, Bone has yet to reclaim his top-tier dominance. Still a master of most basic skills, and with the right amount of luck can still threaten the giants.
Strengths: A relic from a bygone era, Bone's formation is the only one that still retains the double-fetch centre. This enables him to win all but the most perfectly deflected kickoffs, and encourages opponents to spread to the wings where they can potentially be trapped for a regain of possession.
Also, worth mentioning is the unbroken ghol chain from wall to wall. Bone is one of the few players that can string a series of passes through interference to the deadly corner ghol, although both Dantski and ska have powerful counters to this tactic. This has forced Bone to rely more on improvised cb at times.
A successful ghol chain.
Weaknesses: Oy where do I start? First, the most glaring weakness is the lack of a defensive center. Sometimes I send the 2 kickoff fetch back, but sometimes it's just too open, and I'm quite vulnerable there.
In an age where midfield cb is especially deadly (ska sent the decisive game into overtime on a last-second midfield cb shot), Bone has hardly anything to stop a carefully placed shot.
What's more, the defensive outer fetch are inbetween center and wing, allowing me to cover both, although much weaker than in a committed position. Often I have been beaten down a wing by a simple ghol chain, and have not gotten out in time to stop it.
To beat Bone, you simply need to have a flexible style, and an ability to send the ball where Bone's units aren't. Dantski can do this, so it all comes down to what Bone can do to quell the attack.
Ska (1) vs. Adren (4)
Ska - Full Court Press
The Reigning Champion. Ska has the best timing of the Fetchballâ„¢ League, and routinely makes shots starting from one end of the field via fetch passing end up sailing into the net. Also has the league's best defense by a clear margin.
Strengths: To limit ska's formation to a number scheme (eg. 3:3:3:1) wouldn't do justice to his newest style. It can best be compared to basketball's "full court press," in that wherever the ball is, there are defenders closing in.
Ska has recently become a master of fetch positioning, able to descend upon a spot before the ball arrives, as well as being able to return them to position after the play moves elsewhere. You would think this would cause some hinderance to his speed in some other aspect of his game, but if it's there I haven't found it.
Note the other ska innovation: corner ghols. Properly positioned on either side of an opponent's ghol, this tactic GREATLY increases the chance of recovering the dangerous corner ball into ska's hands. He has forsaken the ghol chain almost completely, instead relying on distance cb and general fetch passing to move the ball great distances.
The middle line of fetch is not to be underestimated as well. If you let him, ska will take a defensive clear straight to your keeper.
Weaknesses: I suppose it can be said that ska's offense doesn't leave him a lot of options. You pretty much know he's going to cb or fetch pass, and if you're just slightly in position, you can defend it.
I haven't found a weakness to his impressive positioning thus far, but hopefully perhaps I'll be able to outrace it.
adrenaline - 4:3:1:2
In his first year on the Fetchballâ„¢ scene, adren has been forced to adapt quickly to challenge the perennial giants. While still not the fastest, he has come up with creative ways to cause havoc. This is the formation that was used against Bone during the regular season.
Strengths: With ska's cornerghols, and a pyramid defense + fetch on the wings, adren has taken to heart the old saying "the best defense is a whole lot of defense."
Adren with a goal line stop vs. Bone.
The offense is not to be underestimated, however, as adren basically took one wing and sent it back to D, leaving an offense just as potent as any standard formation down the left wing.
Weaknesses: Clearly, the biggest weakness of a heavy defensive strat occurs if and when the opponent scores the first goal. If his opponent is not firing on all cylinders, dren does have a solid shot, however.
It remains to be seen what set adren will use for the semifinals.
One last thing: You may never play a game of Fetchballâ„¢, but that shouldn't stop anybody from enjoying these highly watchable games. Unlike in regular 1v1s, heckling is allowed and even encouraged, and as the action always is centered on the ball, the game is easy and exciting to follow. Keep an eye out for semi-final postings, and do stop by and check out the match if you get a chance! Free admission, but BYO snacks.
That's it for the analysis, and hope to see some of you at the matches!
Vistaâ„¢ Fetchball Semi-Final Report
